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Defining healthy boundaries

Freedom Life Coaching Company

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Welcome

Boundary between land and water

Boundary between land and water

This week’s focus is about boundaries. Defining what are healthy boundaries and the benefits you reap, including the respect of others will be explained here.

When you extend boundaries and do the work required, you attract similar people who have respect for themselves; among many other positive life enhancements.

What are Boundaries?

Having boundaries is the space extension you place around you to prevent needy or non-nourishing people and situations from entering your defined space so that you can spend your time fulfilling your needs, wants and desires. People and certain situations can either enhance or limit you. Boundaries are essential to becoming a healthy adult.

Make your boundaries huge:

Those who care and love you will understand if you make bigger boundaries and more boundaries than you think you need. You can always adjust them later. Be greedy and be strong. When you have big boundaries, eventually those boundaries become automatic. Your temperament will be more consistent. Others will test your boundaries; this is where being strong is important.

TEN STEPS TO SETTING BOUNDARIES

1. Understand that boundaries are essential for you.

2. Be willing to educate others on how to respect your new boundaries.

3. Be persistent but don’t punish others if they’ve forgotten your boundary. Just be persistent.

4. Make a list of 10 things that people may no longer do around you, do to you, or say to you.

5. Sit down with each person involved and share with him/her your process. Gain their agreement in honoring your new boundary.

6. Insist that every person in your life deliver their comments in positive ways. No more digs, make-funs, depreciating remarks, criticisms-no matter who or what the situation may be.

7. Create a four-step plan of action whenever someone violates your boundaries.

Example of a four step action:

a. Inform them of what they are doing.

b. Request that they stop immediately.

c. Demand that they stop.

d. Walk away without sarcasm or nasty get-even comments.

8. Make a list of 10 ways you are violating others’ boundaries.

9. Stop violating the boundaries on that list.

10. Reward & congratulate those who are respecting your boundaries.

Before you know it…

Your extended boundaries will attract people who have a similar respect for themselves. You will have more room in which to grow because you are not being drained or violated. You will have a consistent temperament. You will eliminate fears.

Next week’s online newsletter will cover the topic of finding solutions to establishing boundaries. Specific examples of relate-able boundary-less situations will be covered.

Subscribers receive additional self-assessments when it relates to the topic. Subscribers also receive a no-strings attached one hour complimentary coaching session on any challenge you may want to present. The subscription is free and offers an opt out if you find you wish to discontinue.

Join us today or visit again next week for the online version.

Until next time…

4 Responses to Defining healthy boundaries

  • Katy says:

    I love this post. It has taught me a lot about setting boundaries and really what they mean. Thanks

  • Molly says:

    Great, great article. I am forwarding the link to a friend who will also benefit. Thanks!

  • suebirkam says:

    Thank you Molly. I appreciate you leaving a comment here. so glad you are forwarding this to a friend. This is something I lacked in my life. Once I established boundaries are implemented and you draw that circle of space around you it is extremely empowering not just for you but also for the person you establish the boundary around. It enables the other person to own their own stuff. Have a wonderful day!

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